well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
