She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
