Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
