I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize