the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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