no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
