was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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