I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
