We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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