p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize