Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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