The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
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WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
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Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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