Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
