No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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