I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
