Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
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You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
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He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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