Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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