dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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