Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
