when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
