@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
only you would photoshop your dick
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
