And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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