6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
