The best revenge is premature balding
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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