woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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