All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
