she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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