dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
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The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
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He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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