You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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