dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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