ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
