I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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