Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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