Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
