You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
