i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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