I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
