I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
