You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
