1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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