I am puke
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
