Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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