he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
