there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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