just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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