So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
