He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
