My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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