Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
