so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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