dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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