"it" just moved
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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