i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
