You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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