The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
