Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
