I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
