your thong is hanging out like whoa
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
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Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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