I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
