I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
