Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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