i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
