Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
