try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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